Five Years

I remember what I was doing five years ago at this time. It was the night before my wedding, and I was watching Pride and Predjuice with my bridesmaids, and mom. We were sprawled out on mattresses and sleeping bags on the floor of our apartment - our new home. The kitchen, bathroom, and bedrooms were all set up. Items from our hope chest were lovingly placed, and there was even food stacked in the pantry. I was in a sort of surreal cloud. I was feeling that bittersweet emotion. Leaving home for the first time. Thinking about marrying the man that I truly loved. The details of the wedding had become irrelevant. I just wanted to get that white dress and veil on.

Tonight, I am wrapped in a thick blanket, sitting on the bed. Children's toys are in a basket in the corner. We are in a different house, in a different state.

Instead of two, we are four now. The love we had then has multiplied. All I know is that God in His perfect wisdom knew who was perfectly suited to me. I love being married to my husband and best friend. I can't believe we've crammed all of this happiness into five years.

Happy Anniversary tomorrow sweetie ...

Ever Striving

How thankful I am that we have a God who is just, but merciful as well. Being a wife and mom has made me more aware of where I am lacking and how I need to keep striving.

I think the hardest thing for me right now is getting up early. I so long to be like the Proverbs 31 woman who "rises while it is yet night." I have read some of your blogs and know that many of you are doing so well with this! If you are either doing well in this area, or struggling some like I am, I would love to hear from you!!

Here's our evening to morning routine:

7 PM: The girls now go to bed at the same time, Lena sometimes slightly later then Shae. Lena so looks forward to her time with Daddy, and talks about it off and on throughout the day. After dinner and devotions, the two of them usually have playtime. I clean up the kitchen, make lunch for the next day and make a pot of decaf coffee. Shae and I then have a few moments to relax, cuddle (which she doesn't really like to do too much unless she's sleepy), and I give her her last feeding.

7:30PM-10:30PM:When the girls are safely in bed, I look forward to my time with my husband! We talk, drink a cup of decaf, take care of household business, and watch a movie at times. In the summer, we are sometimes outside talking to the neighbors. I'm telling you ladies, when I don't get this time, I miss it soooo much.

I guess all of this is to say that I don't really want to go to bed any earlier.

Anywhere from 4:30-5:30am: Shana wants to eat - she'll go back to sleep until about 6:30.

6:15 ish AM: Husband is up, I am usually struggling to even want to open my eyes. What I wish I did was get up to make him a hot breakfast with a bright smile and happy inside!

He rarely gets a hot breakfast during the week if he leaves before 7am - I will sometimes make something the night before, but have fallen off the path with this too!!

7:30AM: If husband is still home, we eat breakfast together, but if not, I am up with the girls to start our day.

By the way, I do get quiet time with the Lord! Lena has quiet reading time at 8:30-9:30 in her room. Shana naps at the same time. So I usually have an hour to myself in the morning.

I am NOT a morning person, friends. I am perfectly happy after I down that first cup of coffee, but before that, I am a shell of my real self! Any ideas? I want to do better with this.

Husband and Shana are ever so happy in the morning. They smile and laugh to welcome the day. Lena and I are ve-ry quiet for an hour or so.

Also, I'm looking for recipes for make ahead breakfasts. I may be a little delirious in the morning, but I am perfectly able to turn my oven on and warm something up!

Valentine's Day and Organized Freezers

Its those little things that make life romantic! When I was a teenager - I can't imagine thinking that something like an organized freezer could make my heart go pitter patter, but it does.

Mr. S says jokingly that every day is Valentine's Day in our house. But he isn't far from the truth. I have trouble keeping the fridge and freezer organized, so yesterday after he brought groceries in for me, he took everything out of the freezer and organized it by type of food. Now that's romantic!

And mom, if you are looking at the foil wrapped package on the top shelf, that's friendship bread for you! I forgot to give it to you on Sunday.

I **love** you, hubby of mine.

The strength of your love

weaves music into my soul.

Back and forth, your life is knitting a melody

only we can hear.

It's a voice without words,

a whisper that thunders

And calls me by name.

-Pat Matuszak

Thirty years ago

on this day

God brought my husband

into the world.

I love you sweets.

Happy Birthday.

Burning the Midnight Oil

Cups of coffee sit before us.

Papers are scattered all over the dining room table.

Two mouths are muttering about unequal tangent vertical curves and azimuths.

Two calculators are being viciously punched.

Pencils are busy and erasers are busier.

Two pairs of eyes meet over a textbook.

One head is scratched, while the other sports rumpled hair.

No, I haven't physically returned to college, but in a way I have.

Dear hubby is in the midst of a busy semester.

The best part is that we often do his homework and studying together. There is a lot of homework due this week, so we have been spending time together this way.

Poor guy, he can't take a break to blog like I can! He's sitting across from me muttering away to himself while I "visit" with all of you.

How God Brought Us Together - Part Three

Ecclesiastes 4:12 A cord of three strands is not easily broken.


"A threefold cord is not easily broken, any more than a bundle of arrows, though each single thread and each single arrow is. Two together he compares to a threefold cord; for where two are closely joined in holy love and fellowship, Christ will by His spirit come to them, and make the third, as He joined Himself to the two disciples going to Emmaus, and then there is a threefold cord that can never be broken. They that dwell in love, dwell in God and God in them."
-Matthew Henry-(the above is an excerpt from our wedding program)

It was Saturday the 25th of September 2004. At one o' clock in the afternoon, an expectant groom walked to the front of the sanctuary to await his bride.

He watched and waited as two violins and a piano played Canon in D as the mothers were seated, and Largo from Xerxes as the beautiful bridesmaids walked down the aisle.

The four flower girls were led by the ringbearer and then ...
... the doors were closed.

All rose as the bride and her father approached.

All in the wedding party sat as a charge was given to the couple. The congregation joined in singing O the Deep Deep Love of Jesus and Take My Life and Let it Be.

Vows were spoken, rings were exchanged, prayer was given for the couple, and their union was pronounced.



They couldn't seem to wipe the happy grins from their faces.


Were they really married? So much joy wasn't possible, was it?

They walked arm in arm into the reception, held in the very same room where they met.

When it was time to go, the bride shed a few tears as she said goodbye to her family, but quickly shook them away to leave with her new husband.

Near disaster was averted as the impatient groom almost caused a fender bender.

The newlyweds rode off into the sunset. They didn't realize that they could love each other any more then they did at that moment...

... but they do.

How God Brought Us Together - Part Two

THE SUMMER COURTSHIP

The days of summer progressed, and so did our relationship with one another. The emails continued, but they got shorter because we were talking so much. The calls got more frequent, and we began to see each other every weekend.

We started to pray together. Mr S emailed me a list of items to pray for.

We also started reading two Christian books which Mr. S purchased for me. We started to talk about the future. We were surprised how closely God was knitting our hearts. I think we all just knew.

He had not confessed his love for me, although he made sure I knew how he felt. He always talked about how red roses meant love, and he knew that I loved roses. On the day before my birthday a vase stuffed with beautiful red roses and other filler flowers arrived at my house. The card read: "Red!!! What does that mean? I forget. Looking forward to seeing you tomorrow."

When he asked my Dad if he could officially court me, my Dad gave his consent readily (after a serious conversation of course!). He became a part of our small family and I became a part of his big family.


ENGAGEMENT


On October 17, 2003, I was supposed to go spend the weekend in Mr.S's neck of the woods. I was going to a birthday party for his cousin. This was my first time spending an overnight in North Jersey. I noticed that Mom said "I love you," to Mr S when we were walking down the driveway, but I didn't think anything of it.


We went past the exit we were supposed to turn off on, and when I asked about it, I was assured that "we could go this way too." He pulled into Liberty State Park and I was enjoying the lit up buildings ... it was beautiful. I was fine until he pulled into a parking lot and stopped the car. He asked me if I wanted to take a walk. I wasn't sure what he was doing. We always discussed everything we did before we did it. We always cleared everything with my dad too. I told him that I didn't want to take a walk. He was shocked! He said that he needed to stretch his legs and after he walked around and got his jacket out of the trunk, he told me that there was something he wanted to show me. I was uncomfortable (spontaneity is not my strong point), but I went. We walked onto the bridge and he showed me the Statue of Liberty. It was breathtaking in the dusk. Then I felt a drop land on my nose.


"It's raining," I announced.


"It's not," he said quickly.


"Bev, your parents know we're here," he finally said, sensing my inner thoughts.


"They do?" I said, ready to cry with relief, "why didn't you tell me that?"


"Because it was supposed to be a surprise," he answered smiling down at me.

We started to walk along the bridge hand in hand. He stopped and told me that he wished he could show me how much he loved me.



I started to realize at that moment what was going on.


He told me that he was going to show me, and next thing I knew, he was down on one knee in front of me. He was holding a ring in the air ... it was sparkling in the overhead lights.


I don't remember what I said. It was an indescribable feeling.


But yes --- we still had to attend the birthday party. So we got back in the car -- we were both giddy, and drove to his house. When I walked in, my parents and my sister and his family and some friends were there! It wasn't a birthday party but an engagement party for us. It was a perfect ending.


The next morning, we went to breakfast at a friend's house. There, we saw our two friends who had gotten engaged the very same night! Mr.S and the other guy - the very same one who had alerted Mr.S to sit at our table at the banquet - had planned all this to perfection. We got engaged simultaneously, and not far in location from one another. You can imagine what a gleeful breakfast this was.

By the way, we also got married within three months of each other and had our first children within three months of each other. We are currently planning their wedding:-) They beat us with the second child though, theirs is due in just a few weeks!

That night, we went to The Manor for dinner. A wedding was going on outside and we sat at a distance and dreamed and planned about us.

Thus ends my narrative about the courtship and engagement.

I think I will post about the wedding on September 25th as that is our actual anniversary. And yes, I'll include a few pictures.

How God Brought Us Together - Part One

Well, I've almost been married for three years now. In one sense, it seems like it has gone so quickly, but in another, it feels like I have been married to Mr.S for my whole life!

We grew up in the same state, and in sister churches. We were familiar with one another's families, but had never met. His uncle had preached at our church several times, and his cousin had attended my church for several years before moving away. I hd taught her kids in Sunday School and we were very friendly.


So how did God make us aware of each other?

WHERE WE MET

We met at an annual Spring Banquet at Trinity Baptist Church in Montville NJ. Neither of us were that excited about going. He had been to them so many times, and I always feel apprehensive about trying new things!

At the banquet, I was sitting with four other friends from church, when his friend told him that he had to go to our table and meet me.

He ended up sitting at our table and staying there! He didn't talk to me too much, and I was too occupied to notice that he was staring at me the entire time. Once, he flashed a brilliant smile at me, and I remember thinking, "what a nice smile."

I left with my friends, and when asked by my dad if I had met Pastor Brevard's nephew at the banquet, I said "Yes -- he sat at our table! He was very nice."

My dad pressed a little further, "did he seem interested at all?"

"No, but he was very nice," was my reply.

HIS COUSIN CALLS MY MOM

A week later, I was on lunch break at JoAnn Fabrics examining material when I got a call on my cell phone. It was my mom telling me that Mr. S's cousin had called her, saying that her cousin was interested in getting to know Beverly. I was astonished. She said that she had been urging him to meet me for a few years at least, and that we had finally "providentially" met on our own.

"But he didn't even talk to me!" I marvelled.

THE LONG WAIT

Of course, this whole phone call triggered many dinner time conversations, introspections, talks with those that knew him, and talks with my Heavenly Father.

I was struggling because I knew that since I was 22, and he was 25 -- this could be very serious. This could mean marriage. I wanted to be absolutely willing for the relationship to lead to marriage before even starting to communicate.

It was a month later, when I called his cousin back. I realized that it had been a l-o-n-g time, and I didn't even know if he was still interested. His cousin didn't tell me one way or another, but questioned me for quite a while about how things were going in my life, and what God was . I gave her my email address and sighed with relief. I didn't know that Mr.S had nearly given up, and was ready to move on. God has perfect timing!

YOU'VE GOT MAIL

Three days later, I heard from Mr. S by email for the first time. I was so excited. I wrote him back that very day, but didn't send it until the next day.

Thus began our correspondance. He would write one day, and I would write the next. He never forgot, and neither did I. The emails were getting longer and longer. We had a lot in common. After we had written every day for two weeks, he slipped a question into the end of his email, "Hey, I was wondering if it would be okay if I called you sometime?"

I asked my parents and they said it was ok, so we planned to talk after evening service that next Sunday.

PHONE CALLS - LONG ONES

Our first phone call was wonderful. We talked for three hours. His phone died and he had to go get another one. In the middle of that call, Mr.S talked to my dad and asked him if he could call regularly. Dad said yes and said "don't abuse the privilege!" We decided that he would call on Sunday nights after church.

We continued to email every day, but the next Sunday night stretched far into the future. It was so hard to wait! On Friday night, the subject heading of his email read "sixty-nine hours and counting..."

We talked for three and a half hours the next time ... and then we started talking twice a week.

He asked me if he could come visit our church and home. Dad said yes.

THE VISIT

That Sunday as I taught Sunday School, I was so nervous. Through the window in my room, I saw him drive into the parking lot. I hardly knew what to do or how to act, but we had a wonderful day. He had dinner with our family and brought my mom a gift. He even helped us get dinner ready. I didn't want the day to end and I was starting to feel something very strange growing in my heart. Already? you may ask -- but when God is doing a work, our timing may not be His timing.

We wanted to see each other again, and my dad agreed that he could come five days later for the 4th of July. I was so excited, and so was he. His whole family was waiting at home to see how his day went, and I went home to discuss everything with my parents. I felt this strange sense of calm. I was so happy and excited, but it seemed so right -- something I had never felt before.

Thus ends part one ... part two will include: summer courtship, the engagement, marriage.

Making the Most of Mondays!

I haven't talked a lot about my husband's schooling on this blog, but it is very much a part of our lives.

Mr. S is currently enrolled in school to get a second degree. He is working on a degree in Survey Engineering Technology so that he can get his Professional Surveying License. He is working so hard, and he is doing it for us! He works full time, so his schooling always consists of night classes.

This semester, (we are at the end now!), he is in school on Monday evenings, and also every other Saturday. As you can imagine, Mondays are long days for Mommy and Lena. I always feel a little sad when I bid my husband goodbye on Monday mornings.

Lately I have been trying to make the most of my Mondays instead of spending them longing for my husband. Now that Selena can ask for her Daddy, she seems sad at night when she goes to bed when he isn't there. She asks for him and looks around. Babies are so sensitive to the moods of their parents, and I have been trying to infuse more joy into her life on days when Daddy isn't there to say goodnight.

Mondays are ...

laundry days: I usually do massive amounts of laundry on Monday. Lately, I have been throwing all the clean laundry on the floor, letting Selena play with it while I fold. What fun!


macaroni and cheese days: I love me some cheese!! Instead of not cooking because I'm just cooking for myself, I have been experimenting with all kinds of mac and cheese recipes on monday. I've started to look forward to it.

extra cuddle time days: we have extra time on Monday, so I have been wrapping us both up in one of our many blankets and we read together or watch a girly movie.

fun in the sun days: when the weather is nice ... like today, we take some time to run errands in between naps. I have been loathe to run these mini errands when I have Selena because I have to take her in and out of her car seat multiple times. Today, we set out to run three errands, Lena in her striped pink and white sandals, and Mommy in her gold,sparkly ones. I was rewarded with huge smiles and happy kicking feet every time I circled the car to take Selena out of her seat. I have to do this more often. She made many friends at every stop we made.

days of meditation: Mondays provide me with a unique opportunity to meditate on the Lord and His goodness. May I always take advantage of these opportunities.

So Mondays aren't so bad after all!! Friends, please remind me of this post in the fall when Mr. S will be in class Wednesdays, Friday, and Saturdays.

From Mr. S--To My Valentine

Please allow me these ramblings, seeing as I have invaded my dear wife’s “cyber-space.” But today is Valentine’s Day and I have been searching high and low for a gift that would adequately express how much I love her.

Now, I have also tried to be unique when it comes to gift-giving, but this one, I wanted to be special. So tell me, what gift would be good enough for the woman who has positively changed my life. The woman who makes going to work in the morning sad and coming home in the evening exciting.

How do you express deep appreciation for the greatest cook, homemaker, designer, mother, and therapist? What’s appropriate for the girl whose ear is always open to listening to my same old dumb stories over and over again? She never says “honey, you told that one before (and it wasn’t funny then).”

How do I thank the woman who puts up with my ever-changing dreams? Last week I hoped to become a best-seller novelist, this week, a real estate mogul, next week, something else (probably a quarterback). She’s always there to keep me on course and remind me of our goals.

What gift would make up for all of the thank you’s that I forgot to say over the years. Like the time she came to the softball game in the rain and sat in the bleachers by herself. Or the countless notes that are left in my lunch bag, the emails with pics, etc.

I don’t know where I would be without her, probably not here. Sometimes, I watch her for across the room still captured with her beauty and loving her a thousand times more than the day I fell in love with you. So, I wonder, what can I do to show my dear wife how much I love her……Then it hit me……….This.

This is my beloved

Yes, my friends, a second post from me in a week's time. Little Miss S came down with a cold last night and was up at 10:30pm, 1:30am, 4:30am, and 6:40am. She isn't napping well either, and has only taken one 30minute nap all day so far. I am a trifle addlepated as a result, and don't feel like doing much. Friday on my list of cleaning chores I have "do something fun!" I think I'll type a post for fun today since we won't be going out.

Its been a while since Mr. S has gotten my undivided attention on this blog. I think it is his turn!

Thou shalt know Him when He comes
Not by any din of drums
Nor the vantage of His airs,
Nor by anything He wears,
Neither by His crown nor His gown.
For His presence known shall be
By the holy harmony
Which His coming makes in thee.
-- Elisabeth Elliot

Thank you, sweetheart, for ...

1. Always, always understanding.

2. Being willing to share your soul with me and to know mine.

3. Making me laugh, even when I am determined not to.

4. Giving me a bear hug when there isn't anything to say.

5. Being a spiritual leader and knowing when to say no. Not being a follower, but seeking God's will.

6. Making even boring errands so interesting.

7. Being a wonderful father.

8. Listening, listening, and listening some more.

9. Being the first one to offer to help, and doing it so cheerfully.

10. Working hard every day so that I can stay home with Selena.

11. Putting us first, before work, before friends, before yourself. Thank you.

12. October 17, 2003 (engagement day) and September 25, 2004 (wedding day) ... and every day thereafter.

Happy Anniversary Mr.S!!!

I can't believe that two years ago today I was standing in one of the sunday school classrooms at Trinity Baptist Church with butterflies in my stomach. At this time, I had already donned my bridal gown, and was waiting to meet my groom at the altar. It seems like yesterday. It seems like forever that I have known my Mr. S. Does that make sense? Its just that RIGHT. We haven't had our first argument yet. Now God has made us a family of three. We are blessed beyond comprehension.


I love you, Mr. S! Happy Anniversary.