Thursday, May 01, 2008

Guilt and Some Common Pitfalls

I can't count how many times as a wife and mom that I've felt guilty about one thing or another. This pregnancy has been no exception to my guilt trip habit.

Here are a couple of pitfalls I tend to dive into:

1. Instead of taking one day at a time, and realizing that I am truly doing the best I can, I let myself worry about the things I am not doing.

Did Selena get enough outside time today?

There's dust on my windowsill.

I only got through one load of wash and not three today.

I haven't baked in 10 days.

I haven't blogged in a week. Okay - more then a week.

2. The Wallowing World of Martyrdom

I am allowed to take Tylenol, but I am just going to suffer through this headache to show what an Amazon woman I am.

My hip is about to fall off, and my leg is numb, but I am going to play on the hard floor with my daughter because I am a wonderful mom who puts my kid first.

I am really tired today, but I am going to make the most complex recipe I have to show my husband how much I love him.

These pitfalls cause me to lose my joy. They also prevent me from giving glory to God with my lips, the expression on my face, and my heart. The little mini-me who follows me around the house is sure to pick up on these things.

On days like this one, I have debilitating sciatica. Today, I can barely feel my left leg! I am trying from the start of the day, to its finish - to make all my thoughts and actions captive to Him. As I literally and figurately limp through this day, I will try not to trip and fall into these pits ...

Because I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.

Because I am to rejoice in the Lord always.

Because I am made in His image.

Because my chief end is to glorify Him and enjoy Him forever.

I am going to smile through this day!


Cathy said...

Oh, dear Bev, I believe you are being too hard on yourself. You are feeling tired and probably not so great. And for goodness sakes, don't worry about the blogging. We miss you, but we surely understand. Remember God's verse about the worrying. Good advice for me too. The joy of the Lord is our strength. :)

Mimi said...

do not feel guilty... cater to yourself..
because you are not pampering yourself... you are pampering your new little one being formed within you...
and little mothering Lena will be just as happy rubbing lotion on her mommy's arms and feet as she is playing with toys on the floor!!!
believe me on this one...

sparrow's song said...

You are without doubt a beautiful person. Your writing echoes that clearly.

I know the guilt trip too. However, and unlike you, procrastination is my fault lately.

Pausing to pray about your leg.

Maxine said...

Aww, I know how it is, dear girl, and so does He. He'll see you through. You are being so truthful in that martyrdom part. I like what Mimi said about pampering the little one in the womb.
Listen to your elders here. As Cathy said, the Joy of the Lord is your strength. I'm sorry you've had these difficult days, but it's going to be better. Promise.

Tanya said...

You forgot one very important verse: His grace is sufficent for you; His strength made perfect in your weakness.

We make mighty plans, but none of them matter. All that matter is HIS plan and maybe He wants you to rest today. Maybe He wants you to read a stack of books to Lena instead of crawling around on the floor. Maybe He wants you to show her that no one is perfect - not even her SuperMom - and that we all need helps, on some days more than others. He is glorified when we acknowledge our weaknesses and depend fully on Him. Lena needs to see your strength, but she also needs to see your dependence.

Love and prayers your way!!

Bluestocking said...


I think you need a mental health day so to speak. The aches and pains are your bodys way of letting you know you're doing too much.

You aren't a bad mom because you can't hang with Lena all the time. Once the baby comes Lena will have to learn to share you. (that is a hard lesson i speak from personal experience). And hubby won't die because he doesn't have home made cookies.

If I weren't a career woman I'd offer to babysit lena for a few days so you could relax. Better yet I think someone needs as massage. Let me get back to you.

Sarah said...

A belated congrats on your pregnancy! I somehow missed your announcement post. When is your due date exactly? We just recently had our 20 week ultrasound and found out we're having a boy! We were shocked after two girls, you start to think that's all you make:). Sorry I haven't commented in awhile, I do read your blog often.
In Him,


Dear Beverly, I couldn't help but laugh at what you wrote, so many years ago, that is exactly how I was. Just enjoy yourself, and please take care of yourself, Your husband and children need you much more than playing on the floor or baking something supper hard. Just "you" are enough.

I just heard about your great news about the coming little one. Any child you have will be so blessed. Contratulation to you and your family and may God bless you all. connie from Texas


Tera said...

Oh, I love what Tanya wrote...Selena does need to see your dependence on the Lord. Growing up, she'll know she can count on the Lord to give her strength. Bless your little heart for being such a good servant...but go rest for today. That sciatica needs some relief! :)