I don't know what it is lately.
It seems that for the last few days I have been wrestling with my selfish nature.
Whether it is the interruption of a moment that I thought I deserved (how funny, when I think of what I really deserve as a sinner!)
or a change that disappointed me ...
... or the lack of time to work on projects that give me pleasure ...
... or missing my husband who is working and learning hard!
A lot of me-ism, this.
When I step back and view myself from a distance, I am apalled at the unquelled selfishness I see.
However, the Lord has literally put a new song in my heart today. I have been singing today, and even took my Selena for a little dance whirl around the house.
I haven't been able to get this hymn out of my mind today. It so applies to the lessons this little mama has been learning. Words of significance to me are boldened.
I asked the Lord that I might grow,
In faith and love and every grace,
Might more of His salvation know,
And seek more earnestly His face.
It was He who taught me thus to pray,
And He I trust has answered prayer.
But it has been in such a way,
As almost drove me to despair.
I hoped that in some favored hour,
At once He'd answer my request.
And by His love's constraining power,
Subdue my sins and give me rest.
Instead of this, He made me feel,
The hidden evils of my heart.
And let the angry powers of hell,
Assault my soul in every part.
Yes, more with His own hand, He seemed,
Intent to aggravate my woe.
Crossed all the fair designs I schemed,
Blasted my gourds, and laid me low.
"Lord, why is this?" I trembling cried.
Will You pursue Your worm to death?"
"This is the way" the Lord replied,
"I answer prayer for grace and strength."
"These inward trials I employ,
From self, and pride, to set you free;
And break your schemes of earthly joy,
That you may find thy all in Me."
Lord, You alone are my all.
Now, back to work!