Monday, December 03, 2007

The Aftermath

A dream is shattered by a piercing shriek, amplified by the monitor sitting on my dresser. Inwardly I groan, fighting the fatigue that has been surrounding me like a cloud for the past week. I hurry to the room across the hall, the room where my little precious sleeps. She sits in her crib holding her pacifier in one hand and her beloved "Moo" in the other. It is too early to be up. When she sees me, one "Momma!" escapes her lips, and not even able to sit up any longer, she sighs and sinks back down on her blankets.

Momma is here. Momma will always hear you.

I gather her up and give her a firm hug and a barrage of kisses. I tuck her in all snuggly wuggly. I kiss her cow and tuck him? her? in too. I stand over her crib and pray for my child. She hasn't been herself since the MRI. She is clingy, wary, scared to be awake and alone in the safe haven of her crib. She is moody with Daddy, enjoying his games, but then suddenly getting frustrated.

We worry about her, yes, but we are almost certain that this too will pass. She needs to regain her sense of security. We have seen more glimpses of our real Selena lately then before. So for now, we watch and pray. And give her little surprises, like a blinking little tree for her own room, and one at Nanna's with ornaments that she can touch! And I sing. I sing to her over and over. The song below has become a favorite -- but I substitute "When I am Afraid." for the last verse.

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6 comments:

Maxine said...

As I heard her on the phone this morning, I'm thankful that it sounds as though she's on the upswing. Hopefully, this will continue.

Beka said...

I just tried to leave a comment here but I don't think it worked.

Anyway, I so wish you all didn't have to go through this, but we are certainly praying for our dear Lena, that God will give her peace and security; we pray for you and E too, for wisdom and peace (and some uninterrupted sleep!) I hope she keeps feeling better each day and that in a couple of days she'll be 100% back to herself.

And that song... one of my favorites.

Mimi said...

I am praying for little Lena that she will soon gain back her sense of comfort and forget the ordeal she had to go through...
She has such a sweet mommie and daddy that she will soon know she can feel safe with them!!
I pray she doesn't have to have any more MRI's ......
{{Hugs}} for both you and Lena...

Neesie said...

Yes, this too will pass...I'll be praying for my little princess.

CONNIE'S THOUGHTS FROM THE HEART said...

How could she help but regain her security with such loving parents and Grandparents. It want be long. This too will pass and all will be well in you wonderful little family world. Praying for her and you and wishing for a wonderful tomorrow. connie from texas

Elise said...

Sweet Lena... I pray you will feel peace and security in its fullness soon... Rest well tonight. May the soft glow of your blinking tree remind you of your mama and daddy, and that they are nearby and will never leave you. And that Jesus is not only nearby, but closer than anyone...
Love you, sweet one.